


Space Dust

by AshNine



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Adults, Angst, But not all poetry, Feels, Letters, M/M, Married Life, Poetry, Rantaro is just poetic as heck, separated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 19:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15516684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshNine/pseuds/AshNine
Summary: Rantaro counts the days until Kaito returns from Mars.





	Space Dust

Kaito,

Sometimes, I want to taste the moon. How perfect would it be, to reach up and grab it, yanking it from the sky? A thin wafer, crisp like the night, and a bite that slowly eats away at it. Bite, chew, swallow, repeat. Just sitting there, becoming one with the moon. Would it be cool? I like to think that the taste would linger on your tongue, a sharpness, much like peppermint, like those sweet favors at a restaurant, or the kind you might find in a stocking on Christmas day. Perhaps, the reason the moon waxes and wanes are dependent on whether or not someone craves a midnight snack, a sky cookie, if you will.

Perhaps, the stars are crumbs. Once the moon is gone, all that lingers are the tiny speckles, thrown randomly this way and that. Even when the moon is full, the flecks of twinkles remain, some blowing away and dying out, exploding into crumbs of their own. Or maybe, they are sprinkles off the bitten and chewed moon. Blue, red, white, all the colors you could possibly think of. Sprinkles inside of sprinkles, little nebulas of sugar, glowing and sparkling all night.

See, the sprinkles are always there, regardless if it's day or not. So, if it’s day, the midnight wafers are put back on their shelves, and the hot muffins are brought out. Warm, fuzzy, yet not cool enough to touch. Perhaps that’s why the sun is always so bright, never fading and reappearing. Just, consistent. Instead, maybe the sun is the oven. It bakes and cooks all the wafers thoroughly, creating just the perfect crunch for the next night. Even though it's hard to see, the blue walls around the oven are covered in all those itty-bitty crumbs.

Sooner or later, the light will flick off. The oven will be set to rest, the wafers out to play and the sprinkles, the crumbs, will show themselves once more, a reminder of the day’s hard work and the night’s time to come. A constant reminder of well spent time, be it cooking, conversing or just lounging around with you.

People like to claim that we’re made of stardust, yet I sense doubt in those beliefs. I wouldn’t mind being a star though. Sharing light, shining bright, it sounds like a lovely life. Little to worry about, but so much to share. How great would it be to be like Helios and pull the sun across the sky, creating life, watching it bloom and flourish below. How perfect would it be, to pull Selene from the sky, pick her brain and sit together, eating wafers. At the end of the day, all you would need to do is dust off your pants, and scatter stars across the sky.

I wonder what it's like to have a taste of the moon. I hope you’ll be able to tell me what it’s like when you get back.

I suppose this is just a long-winded way to say that I miss you. Each day I sit and look at the stars wondering what it’s like up there beyond the atmosphere, hugged by the cosmos, the universe at your fingertips. How much can you see, as you look down at our home, thousands upon thousands of miles away. I’ve always heard the Great Wall was visible from space, so you better let me know if that’s true when you get your ass back home.

Life on Earth seems so boring when I think about it. You’re up there, heading to Mars, and I’m stuck here on this boring old rock, writing about candies and wafers and other mushy crap like that. You’re probably going to get this and laugh at me, saying I’m thinking with my stomach again, which isn’t necessarily a lie. Do they have wafers on Mars? It would be a pretty sad existence if you didn’t have sweets of any sorts while you’re stuck there. Red space dust doesn’t taste very good, I’d imagine.

Ren, my youngest sister, has been a help around the house. She tends to your observatory to keep everything in working order and helps in place of you in the garden. I wish you could see the orchids right now. I planted some in the color of your eyes this year. Sappy, right? The others, most importantly the succulents, are doing well. Our barrel cactus had its first bloom this week, a dainty little white flower. I’ll take it as a sign for good things to come. That damn thing would never bloom while you were here. Maybe the secret to my garden flourishing is the lack of your big feet stomping around like a sasquatch? Hah.

I keep making too much damn food for 1 person and gotta invite others over to help me get rid of all of it. I unconsciously set the table for 3 on Fridays, me, you, and Ren. She’s taken to inviting her girlfriend over, and let me tell you, those two help liven up the house significantly.

It’s more often than not I forget you’re gone, and trust me, I’m counting each and every second until you’re back. I crave your touch, require your kisses, and honestly, I’m going insane as time seems to be at a standstill. They say not to count, that it only makes it go slower, but I can’t help it. If I could, I’d sell my soul to Cronus and let him devour my entire being to allow me to speed up until I could be in your arms once more, warm, safe, and where I belong.

All of this to say I miss you. This has gotten pretty long, hasn’t it? I hope the rest of your team doesn’t see this; I’d never live down the embarrassment of being so darn mushy. I already get enough flak from Ren and Kokichi, so I don’t want to hear it from those of you on star command. Keep this to yourself, alright? I’m counting on you.

-Rantaro

\---

Kaito,

I heard the news. You’re on your way home early! I can’t deny I’m excited, even if that means you’re cutting your time in space short. I didn’t expect you back for another couple of years, but I suppose inadequate weather forecasts on another planet would be detrimental to your living conditions. It’s pretty lame, if you ask me, that you need to leave for the simple fact a dust storm literally blew away your irrigation system. 300 kilometers per hour winds? How is that even possible?

I bet you snagged some dirt from Mars, didn’t you? That would totally be something your nerdy ass would do, just to keep it in some jar in your observatory. You already have all those moon rocks, and whatnot, so what’s a little dirt gonna hurt? Do you know how much that stuff will be worth, though? Your team was in fact the first to head to Mars and will be the first to touch back down on Earth. All the other space geeks like yourself are going to be fawning over you guys every waking second until another team goes up, I just know it. Hey, don’t let your new fame get to your head, alright? I’m your husband. Don’t forget that.

I suppose all I can really do now is wait for you to get back. Ren and I watch the news every day waiting for more information about the mission and let me tell you does that girl pour over reddit every waking moment of the day. You’ve gotten her so much more interested in space than I ever imagined. I’m not sure whether I should be thanking you or shaking my fist at your brainwashing of my sister. Now instead of traveling on our boat she wants to go to some space program and learn to pilot. You’re corrupting her, Space Case.

Kokichi’s been over a lot more, which is bizarre. He never really wanted anything to do with me until his sister started dating mine. Should I be worried? Is this some ploy to take over my household and destroy my garden? Or does he actually just want to swim like he claims? It’s just all too convenient, you see. These brother-sister swim dates are too much for me. I’m dying here. Please send help. If I get dunked one more time-

Ryoma asked me to take care of a cat until he found it a proper home, but I’m starting to think this is where she belongs. She’s a timid little thing, unlike both of us, so I think after a while she’ll warm up to the household. Either that, or she’ll run away but you know, whatever makes her happy I suppose. I’ve just been calling her Momota lately, since I guess that’s technically her last name, but we’ll have to give her a proper name when you’re back. I’m sure you’ll like her. In the word of Ryoma, who can hate cats?

Only a year left until I see you. It’s been 6 years at this point, so one more can’t hurt right? I’m trying to convince myself here, please don’t point out the error of my ways. Hurry home, alright? Invent light speed or something, c’mon space commander, you got this. See you soon.

-Rantaro

\---

Kaito,

I know you’ll never read this, but I suppose it helps me to get my feelings out in the open. I had some guy from NASA come to my door today like you’d expect when a soldier dies in battle. I... guess you can say that’s what happened, right? Is that a proper analogy?

It’s not real, you know? One moment I’m cooking dinner and the next I’m told you’re dead. It’s not clicking in my head. You can’t be dead, right? No, you’re on your shuttle that's supposed to be back in about 100 days. I did my waiting, and you’re going to be here on April 16th just like I was told, smiling and tired looking. I’m going to pick you up from the airport and you’re going to fall asleep in the car on the way home. We’ll eat dinner together and you’ll hold me while we doze off to sleep together, our arms and legs all tangled in that way you like.

But you’re dead.

My brain’s pretty numb right now. I didn’t cry when the representative handed me your placard and I didn’t cry when I hung it up. It’s right above your space rocks, all your moon pieces and meteorites all dust-free from their last cleaning session. Shiny and gold, something you’d probably call tacky and cliché, but it's there nonetheless. It looks a lot like Fallen Astronaut, the one on the moon, but flashier, and minus the little guy laying in front of it.

__

_Apollo Squadron 3013_  
_Commander Kaito Momota_  
_20XX-21XX_  
_Valiantly stepping where no man has gone before._

It looks like something you’d see in some war movie, when the mother breaks down and holds the cremated remains close to her chest. I don’t even get that option. You burned up in the cosmos, your ashes space dust coating the universe now. How poetic, in a way, I suppose. How sickly, disgustingly poetic. Here I am, being sappy again.

Why can’t I cry though? Kiibo says I’m in shock and that’s probably true. It’s going to hit me like a bus, I just know it. Right now, it’s not real. Maybe it will never be real and I’m just going to be here waiting for something I know in my mind will never come, but my heart, my damn stupid heart, will always hold on to the astronaut that will return to me someday. And then no, I’m going to have to tell myself that said astronaut, your husband, your lover, your one and only, Commander Kaito Momota, Apollo Squadron 3013, Luminary of the Stars, is thousands of particles floating around among the dark matter and constellations in space.

Poetic right?

Right now, I’m thinking about what to do with myself. I’m a widow now, aren’t I? Rantaro Momota-Amami, widowed at age 32, left with his cat who never got a name. We were going to have a family. We were going to travel more and see the rest of the world together, you and I, hand in hand going through countless more expeditions, an Adventurer and his Space Explorer. We were going to grow old together and look back at all our journeys and laugh about the stupid situations and fights we had along the way. What went wrong? Where did our plans falter? What did we do to deserve this?

I don’t want to tell anyone yet, but I’m sure they all know. It’s not every day a returning crew from Mars basically blows up in outer space, leaving all of them dead among the wreckage. The news has been plastered everywhere today, be it television or the internet. Everywhere I look I see your face, that big cheesy smile nearly ear to ear as you stand there with your helmet in hand. It’s a constant reminder that all I have left of you are photos and memories. I can’t take it. I’m going insane and I still can’t cry. What’s wrong with me?

_ What’s wrong with me? _

I’m sorry. I’m trying, and I want to cry, but nothing will come out. My eyes just won’t cooperate and I’m sitting here shaking, angry at myself for not even being able to conjure up a single damn tear, which is something a human logically should be able to do when they’re in anguish, but the pain isn’t setting in. Reality isn’t real anymore. Time doesn’t exist. I’m at a standstill and I’m going to remain this way until you’re back.

_Please come back._

-Rantaro

\---

Kaito,

It’s been 100 days knowing you’re dead. It’s been hard, I’ll say that. Everyone comes by and gives me food and company and are surprised when they see I can smile and laugh just like normal. I didn’t understand it either. I know I should have been an emotional wreck this entire time, a shivering, sobbing mess, but I’m not. If anything, it’s the opposite. I’m radiant, positively sparkling 24/7, the only time I feel sorrow being when I hold your pillow at night. It’s not because you’re dead though, you know? I just miss you a lot and my stupid heart keeps holding on to the idea you’re coming home.

Today was when you were supposed to be back. It’s also the first day I cried.

It was weird, you know? One minute I’m moving about the house, checking off the date on the calendar that’s circled with a thick red marker saying and letters covering it that read “Kaito’s home!” and the next I’m on the floor sobbing into my hands with no end. It wasn’t real until today. Until today you were Schrödinger’s cat, not alive nor dead, an ever-elusive mystery that wouldn’t be known until I opened the box. Too bad I did, and I unleashed Pandora’s hell on myself, taking in 100 days’ worth of sorrow and despair in a single moment.

I don’t think I could cry more even if I wanted to. My head hurts, and I’m dehydrated but I dare not drink water because I know it’ll just upset me all over again and I’ll be sent into a spiral downward of tears and angst. I feel sick and empty and every other negative adjective you can think of.

Right now, I’m sitting outside looking at the sky, trying to see if I can get a glimpse of you. I’d like to imagine that all the constellations you once showed me are your new home, a life forever among the stars. It would be fitting for you, Kaito. I stare up at Ursa Major and wonder if you’re scooped up in her dipper, pouring yourself across the sky to Ursa Minor. I can’t help but smile knowing you died doing what you loved, living your dream to explore space and be one with the galaxy. So, I’ll continue doing what I love, for you. I’ve made it my mission to visit every corner of this world, as you traverse every corner of the galaxy. I know between you and I, we’ll see everything there is to see, and when we meet once again, we can share our journeys together.

Through all of this, I’ve learned I’m still counting the days. However, I’m counting up. Let’s see how high my number will reach until I see you once more. Wait for me. I’m not going to visit just yet. I’ve things to see, so be patient, alright? Love you, Space Case. Be good.

-Rantaro

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the work on amino for an amazing collection of fanart that actually made me feel guilty for this.  
> [Link Here.](https://aminoapps.com/c/danganronpa/page/blog/space-dust-kaitaro-oneshot/eYqB_eP8i3uEL6m0wDg6oNMMQgrRwBQ3kBY)


End file.
